Christmas Stress: How to Cope with a Trigger

You’ve heard it before. It’s even become a meme in the last few years; someone saying they’re ‘triggered’. This term has been diluted and is now often used to casually describe non-clinically significant distress, to the point where people don’t always take it seriously.

However, genuine triggers are still a regular part of many people’s experience, and the Christmas period is full of them. Whether it’s a fraught family conversation, interacting with people you don’t normally see throughout the year, or the challenges around eating in a period of excess, Christmas isn’t always a relaxing period. In this post we’ll explore how to come back from a state of being triggered.

How do I know if I’m ‘triggered’?

When a person is genuinely triggered, they will experience an acute anxiety episode where they feel extremely overwhelmed and distressed. They may not feel present in their environment, or be able to access a rational frame of mind. Even after rigorous therapeutic support and improvement, a trigger can still aggravate old wounds in a profound way. Individuals with a history of trauma or those recovering from addiction, self-harm, mental illness, or disordered eating are particularly vulnerable to triggers.

The Brain’s Cascade of Responses When Triggered

Triggers are a consequence of a highly distressing or traumatic experience. There are several parts of the brain that influence how the mind and body respond during trauma. In particular, the limbic system and the brain stem. When a person experiences a highly distressing event, adrenaline surges through the body and the memory of this feeling, and the circumstances that provoked it, are deeply printed into our amygdala (located in our limbic system).

After a traumatic incident, the brain is sensitive to sensory inputs (such as sights, smells etc.) resembling the traumatic event. This is an attempt to be on guard against similarly distressing situations that might arise in the future, in order to give us the chance to protect ourselves.

The problem with this is that the brain looks for information that might suggest we’re in a similar situation. But, because it errs on the side of caution, it doesn’t wait for confirmation that we’re actually in a dangerous situation before reacting. This means it can be a bit trigger happy (pardon the pun), and it might judge a normal situation as threatening. Consider walking in the bush and seeing a brown curved stick – we’ll have jumped back before we even realise that it’s not a snake.

As soon as we notice a perceived threat, the nervous system remembers the emotional intensity of the memory stored in the amygdala and activates the autonomic nervous system, which is responsible for our flight/fright/freeze response. This activation then shuts down the pre-frontal cortex where rational information processing occurs. This makes it even harder to think clearly and logically, and coupled with the fight/flight/freeze response, results in a profoundly distressed individual.

The Amygdala: Well-Intentioned But Sometimes Over-Active

Ironically, this intense chain of responses is your mind and body’s joint effort to keep you safe. However, because the priority is speed not accuracy, this response does not give your environment the benefit of the doubt. Therefore, it’s important to learn to minimise the activation of the autonomic nervous system once it’s fired, especially if it’s perceiving threats inaccurately.

There are many ways to healthily regulate a triggered response. The plan presented here is grounded in the practice of mindful observation. As the name suggests, mindful observation is the process of mindfully observing your emotional, physiological, and cognitive responses instead of simply reacting. By engaging in the following 6-steps you can learn to break free from the cycle of reactivity and develop resilience.

The most important aspect of mindful observation is to observe your emotional response with compassion not judgment. Observe your thoughts and emotions like you would a sky. Your emotions and thoughts are like passing clouds – they are neither good nor bad, they just are. Sometimes these clouds will culminate and gather and cast a lot of shade, but eventually they will clear if you simply observe them mindfully.

The 6-Step Process to Down Regulate an Activated Nervous System:

Below each step I have included the example of a person who has a history of relational trauma (unfaithful partners), and their current partner is out at a Christmas party and not answering calls.

1. Identify the trigger.

   You will not be able to tell if it is a genuine threat or if it is a trigger (which is a perceived threat). Your nervous system activates for both.
   E.g. Your partner is in an unknown social space + there is alcohol + they are not answering your texts or calls.

2. Create space from the trigger.

   Your activated nervous system wants you to move away (flight) or move toward (fight) the perceived threat. It is important to remove yourself from the trigger before addressing it.
   E.g. Put your phone away, leave it in another room, or turn it off for a moment.

3. Be in your body.

   Bring awareness to your physical sensations: hot, cold, dizzy, shaky, nauseous. Anchor yourself in these physiological sensations instead of acting from or reacting to them.
   E.g. Sit or lie down and practice noticing; bring attention to the physical sensation moving through you. Breathe slowly.

4. Down-regulate.

   Move and soothe yourself with an activity that will bring you calm and distraction. By calming your body’s physical response, you will bring the emotional and psychological intensity down a notch and be able to access a rational frame of mind.
   E.g. This could be walking outside, writing, skipping, or taking a cool shower. Try using grounding.

5. Address the trigger rationally.

   You won’t have returned to full equilibrium, but once you are calmer in your body you will hopefully be able to think more clearly. Try to see the situation for what it is, which is a trigger (an activated old wound or memory) rather than a genuine threat to your safety or wellbeing. To do this, it is good to rationally unpack the situation with a set of questions that are relevant to your wounds.
   E.g. Ask yourself: Do I have all the information? Am I distorting the situation or jumping to conclusions? Is this a matter of life and death? What are some other narratives that might explain what’s happening?

6. Your needs.

   Ask yourself what you need to return to equilibrium and a feeling of safety. Prioritise this if you can.
   E.g. Maybe it’s ditching everything and watching a favourite film, or calling a family member for an aimless chat, or asking a friend to get some dinner despite you having yours in the oven already. Think about how you can best access support and put in the effort to acquire this.

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Regulating your triggers can feel like a tough ask, but with practice it can be done. You can read more about self-soothing, another useful skill to help manage triggers, here, and read about reducing stress in the holiday period here. If you relate to struggling with the aftereffects of a traumatic event, you might be interested in reading how EMDR therapy might be able to help you. You can also read more about stress and trauma responses here.