No Bad Parts: Understanding Internal Family Systems Therapy

Have you ever wondered about how you can feel like there’s a part of you that wants to do one thing, but another part that feels quite different? Maybe you’ve even noticed there’s a part of yourself you don’t like to acknowledge or think about?

It was curiosity about these experiences in the 1980s that led Dr. Richard Schwartz to creating Internal Family Systems (IFS).  Today, IFS is practiced by therapists worldwide and is used to address a wide range of psychological issues, including trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. 

What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?

Schwartz was initially a family therapist. In his work with families, he noticed that his clients seemed to have different “parts” within themselves, each with their own feelings, thoughts, and point of views. This observation led him to develop the IFS model, which sees the mind as a collection of parts, not dissimilar to a family.

IFS is therefore based on the idea that our minds are not a single entity but rather a collection of parts or sub-personalities. These parts can have their own emotions, memories, roles, and they often interact with each other in complex ways. The therapy aims to help individuals understand and synchronise these parts to restore wholeness, leading to greater sense of self-awareness and healing.

Different Parts in IFS

“Parts are like little inner beings who are trying their best to keep you safe” (Schwartz, 2021). 

There are three main categories of ‘parts’ in IFS:

1. Exiles: Exiles are parts of us that hold onto painful memories or emotions, often from past traumas or difficult experiences. Because these feelings can be overwhelming, exiles are often pushed away or “exiled” from our conscious awareness. They may include intense deep-rooted feelings of fear, shame, or sadness.
2. Firefighters: When exiles’ emotions become too intense, firefighters are reactive parts that step in to manage or numb the pain. They might use behaviours or habits that provide immediate relief but can sometimes be harmful or counterproductive. Some examples include substance abuse, compulsive behaviours, under-eating or overeating.
3. Managers: Managers are proactive parts that try to keep things under control and prevent problems from arising. They often work really hard to protect the person from feeling the pain that their exiles hold. You might relate to having an inner critic, being a bit perfectionistic, or maybe feeling overly responsible for things.

Parts can also be in conflict with one another. For example, you may have a “perfectionistic” part and a “lazy” part, or a “people-pleasing” part and a “defensive” part, each with it’s own role within your internal system.

The Role of the ‘Self’ in IFS

In IFS, the “Self” is considered the core of a person’s being, representing a state of calm, clarity, and compassion. The “Self” is the true, authentic part of a person that can observe and understand the different parts within someone’s internal system without becoming overwhelmed by them. When individuals are in “Self”, they are better able to lead their internal system in a balanced and healthy way.

The “Self” is characterised by eight key qualities, often referred to in IFS as the 8 C’s.  These qualities help distinguish the “Self” from other parts:

1. Curiosity: Approaching each part with an open, inquisitive attitude, seeking to understand each part’s perspective and needs.
2. Calm: Maintaining a sense of inner peace and stability, even when dealing with intense emotions or conflicts.
3. Confidence: The “Self” has a strong sense of self-assurance, initiation, inner knowing and can take the lead in guiding and healing the internal system.
4. Compassion: Offering kindness and empathy towards all parts, especially those that are suffering or in distress.
5. Creativity: Driving innovation, problem-solving, and personal growth.
6. Clarity: Providing clear insight and understanding, helping to make sense of complex internal dynamics.
7. Courage: The “Self” confronts difficult emotions, faces internal conflicts, and takes constructive actions despite fear or discomfort.
8. Connectedness: Fostering a sense of connection and harmony among the different parts, promoting internal unity and cooperation.

There are many ways in which you can access the “Self.” For me personally, I find that meditation, mindfulness, grounding activities, dancing or being in nature helps me to be in “Self”.

Unblending in IFS

Unblending is the process of separating or differentiating oneself from a particular part that is overwhelming, or influencing one’s thoughts and feelings. Blending occurs when a part’s emotions or perspective become so dominant that they overshadow the “Self’s” natural state of clarity and calm.

Steps in Unblending during IFS therapy:

1. Identifying the Part: The first step is to recognise which part is currently active and influencing the individual’s thoughts, emotions, or behaviour. This involves acknowledging when a part is overpowering the “Self’s” perspective.
2. Creating Distance: Through therapeutic techniques, the individual learns to create psychological distance between themselves and the active part. This might involve visualising the part, talking to it, or using other methods to recognise that the part is not the entirety of the “Self”.
3. Engaging with the Part: Once the part is identified and some distance is created, the individual can then engage with the part more objectively. This involves listening to the part’s concerns or emotions, without being overwhelmed by them.
4. Healing the Part: After unblending, the person can work with the part to understand its burdens, needs, and emotions. This process can help the part release its burdens and the protective but often counterproductive role it has been in. For example, an inner critic that is just trying to protect a part from pain but in the process is contributing to procrastination, burnout or break-down.

Unburdening in IFS

Unburdening refers to the therapeutic process of helping parts to let go of their accumulated emotional or psychological burdens. These burdens are often the result of past traumas, negative experiences, or unhelpful beliefs that have been internalised.

The Unburdening Process in IFS therapy:

1. Identifying the Burdened Part: The first step is to identify the part that is carrying the burden. This is often an exile, a part that holds painful memories or feelings.
2. Creating Safety and Connection: The “Self” uses compassion to connect with the burdened part to create a sense of safety and understanding (you can read more about how to be self-compassionate here and here).
3. Exploring the Burden: This involves understanding the origin of the burden, such as a traumatic event or a negative belief, and how it affects the part. The goal is to fully experience and understand the burden from the part’s perspective. I have found that clients can often easily access the age, time and memory of these burdened parts.
4. Releasing the Burden: The unburdening itself involves facilitating the release of the burden from the part. This might involve various therapeutic techniques, such as imagery, safely feeling and expressing emotion, and symbolic actions (such as disposing of a symbolic item).
5. Integrating the Healed Part: After the burden is released, the part can be reintegrated into the “Self” in a healthier way. This involves acknowledging the part’s new state and helping it take on a positive new role within the internal system.
6. Strengthening the Self’s Leadership: The “Self” plays a central role in guiding the unburdening process. By demonstrating leadership and compassion, the “Self” helps ensure that the burdened part is effectively supported and reintegrated.

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If you’re interested in understanding IFS therapy further detail,  I highly recommend Schwartz’s book, “No Bad Parts” where you can also engage in self-guided mediations to get to know your own parts. You may also enjoy The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems Podcast which has weekly episodes.

If you’d like to understand more about other therapy types, we have other blogs on evidence-based therapies, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy and Couples Therapy.