Dropping the Struggle: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

27.08.25

Life can feel like a tug-of-war with our own thoughts and feelings. On one end of the rope are the things we long for — connection, calm, purpose. On the other end are the fears, doubts, and worries pulling us back.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT, pronounced like the word act) is about dropping the rope. It shows us how to make peace with what we can’t control, and put our energy into what we can.

At first glance, the name might sound a little intimidating. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – what exactly are you accepting? And what are you committing to? But once you get to know it, ACT can feel like a breath of fresh air in the therapy world. Let me take you through what ACT is, why it matters, and how it could support you.

The Origins of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

ACT was developed in the 1980s by psychologists Steven Hayes, Kelly Wilson, and Kirk Strosahl. It grew out of the observation that many people weren’t necessarily struggling because of what they were experiencing, but rather because of how they were relating to their experiences.

Take anxiety, for example. Two people might both feel anxious before a big presentation:

One notices the nerves, accepts them as natural, and still delivers their talk.
The other battles the anxiety, tells themselves they “shouldn’t feel this way”, focusses on their fears thinking “everyone will notice my hands shaking”, and ends up so worried they avoid the presentation altogether.

The anxiety itself is the same – but the relationship with it leads to very different outcomes.

Instead of trying to fight, control, or eliminate difficult thoughts and feelings, ACT invites people to make room for them, whilst still moving toward a meaningful life.

In other words, suffering doesn’t have to disappear before you can live well – you can learn to carry it differently.

What’s at the Heart of ACT?

At its core, ACT is about two things: acceptance and commitment.

Acceptance means opening up to thoughts, feelings, and memories instead of battling against them. This doesn’t mean you like or approve of them, just that you stop wasting precious energy fighting what’s already here.
Commitment means choosing actions that matter to you, based on your values, even when those actions feel hard.

Together, these processes build something psychologists call psychological flexibility – the ability to adapt, shift, and respond to life with more ease, even in the face of challenges. It’s about learning to bend without breaking.

The Six Core Components of ACT

ACT is often described through six interwoven processes, also known as the ‘Hexaflex’ (great Scrabble word!). Think of them as different skills that combine to work together, rather than steps to follow in order:

Defusion – Learning to see thoughts for what they are (just thoughts!) rather than treating them as absolute truths.
Acceptance – Making space for uncomfortable feelings without trying to push them away.
Contact with the Present Moment – Using mindfulness to stay grounded here and now, rather than stuck in the past or worrying about the future.
Self-as-Context – Noticing that you are more than your thoughts, feelings, or roles – you are the observer of them.
Values – Clarifying what truly matters to you and what gives your life meaning.
Committed Action – Taking practical steps guided by those values.

These six areas interlink to support greater resilience, self-awareness, and direction.

What Can ACT Help With?

ACT has been shown to help with a wide range of mental health difficulties. It can support people struggling with:

Anxiety and panic
Depression and low mood
Chronic pain and health issues
Obsessive-compulsive symptoms
Substance misuse
Sleeping difficulties
Stress and burnout

For example, someone living with chronic pain might think, “I can’t live a meaningful life until this pain is gone.” ACT helps shift this by encouraging acceptance of the discomfort, while also focusing on what matters — like nurturing relationships, finding joy in hobbies, or engaging in purposeful work — even if pain is still present.

ACT is also increasingly used in workplaces, schools, and coaching settings because its focus on values and flexibility can benefit anyone, not just people experiencing mental health concerns.

How is ACT Different from Other Therapies?

Many therapies aim to reduce or eliminate symptoms. While that can be helpful, it sometimes leaves people feeling stuck if their symptoms don’t vanish quickly or completely. ACT takes a different approach: it doesn’t promise to get rid of every painful thought or feeling, but it does aim to change your relationship with them.

For example, instead of working to “stop” anxiety, ACT might help you notice anxious thoughts as just passing mental events, while still moving forward with something meaningful – like spending time with loved ones, or pursuing a goal.

This doesn’t mean ACT ignores suffering. Quite the opposite. ACT holds space for pain while reminding us that pain is not the whole story. You can carry difficult emotions and still build a rich, full life.

Is ACT Right for Me?

You might find ACT especially helpful if:

You often get caught up in your thoughts and can’t seem to “switch off.”
You avoid things because of uncomfortable feelings, even when avoidance makes life smaller.
You want to feel more meaning and purpose in your life, but don’t know where to start.
You’ve tried to “get rid of” difficult emotions without success.
You’re looking for a therapy that combines mindfulness with practical strategies.
You’ve tried other traditional therapies like CBT and found they didn’t feel quite right.

ACT can also be tailored to fit what you’re going through. For some people, the biggest shift comes from learning how to step back from their thoughts. For others, it’s clarifying their values and committing to small, meaningful actions. Even using just one or two ACT skills can make a real difference in daily life.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’ve been feeling weighed down by your thoughts or emotions, ACT might offer a new way forward. You don’t have to wait until everything feels “fixed” before you start living more fully.

ACT isn’t about denying pain or plastering positivity over real struggles. It’s about learning to make room for what’s hard, while still turning toward what matters.

If you’re curious about whether ACT could be helpful for you, our team at Peaceful Mind Psychology would be glad to chat and explore together. Therapy is ultimately about finding the approach – and the therapist – that feels like the right fit for you.

If you want to learn a bit more about ACT, Russ Harris’ The Happiness Trap is a great place to start, and Russ also has some great free podcast episodes and resources on his website.

If you’d like to understand more about other therapy types, try our blogs on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and Couples Therapy.