Important ‘F words’: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn and Flop

17.11.25

You might remember back to high school science and learning about “fight or flight”—that built-in survival mechanism that helps us deal with danger. But did you know there are a few other innate responses too? Freeze, fawn, and flop are just as much a part of our human survival toolkit.

These automatic reactions evolved to keep us safe from lions on the savannah, but in modern life they often show up in response to everyday stressors—work deadlines, arguments with loved ones, or even just feeling overwhelmed. Understanding each response, how they might show up in your day-to-day life, and knowing practical steps you can take can empower you to respond, even under substantial pressure.

The Fight Response: The Urge to Confront

When we are confronted by a threat, your nervous system responds. Your heart races, your muscles tense, your breathing increases. Then your brain makes a quick assessment based on the question:

“Can I overcome this threat with force?’

If the answer is yes, the fight response kicks in with the urge to confront the threat or get physical.

In everyday life, this might look like snapping during an argument, slamming doors, or feeling like you need to “win” a disagreement.

What to do if you’re in fight mode:

Pause before acting. Notice your body cues. Look for clenched fists, raised voice, or racing thoughts.
Channel the energy. Go for a brisk walk, do push-ups, or squeeze a stress ball to discharge the adrenaline.
Respond, don’t react. Once you’ve calmed down, come back to the situation with a clearer head.

Hot Tip: The fight response is usually paired with anger. You can learn more about understanding and managing anger in our blog here.

The Flight Response: The Urge to Escape

If your answer to ‘can I overcome this threat with force?’ is ‘no’, then the next question is:

“Can I escape this threat?”

Flight is your nervous system’s way of saying “get me out of here.” Your body responds in a similar way to the fight response, but every part of you feels like running—literally or metaphorically.

In modern life, flight can show up as avoiding tough conversations, distracting yourself with work or social media, leaving social situations early, or even just being really fidgety and restless. Sometimes avoidance offers short-term relief, but it rarely solves the problem.

What to do if you’re in flight mode:

Ground yourself. Focus on what’s around you—notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear.
Breathe slowly. Inhale for four counts, exhale for six. This signals to your body that you’re safe.
Take a small step. Instead of avoiding altogether, try approaching the stressor in manageable doses—for example, rehearsing a tough conversation before having it.

The Freeze Response: Being Unable to Move

Freeze happens when neither fight nor flight feels doable. It’s designed to help you ‘play dead’ or be inconspicuous, hoping that the threat will pass you by. Your body may shut down, leaving you unable to move, think clearly, or make decisions. You might feel numb, spaced out, or like you’re watching yourself from outside.

In everyday life, freeze could look like staring at your computer for hours without starting a task, going blank during a meeting, or staying quiet even when you want to speak up.

What to do if you’re in freeze mode:

Move gently. Wiggle your fingers, stretch, or stand up and shake out your arms to “thaw” the body.
Break things down. If a task feels overwhelming, focus only on the first step—write one sentence, send one email, or wash one dish.
Name it. Saying “I feel frozen right now” can reduce shame and help you regain perspective.

The Fawn Response: People-Pleasing to Stay Safe

Fawn is less talked about, but many people know it well. It’s the instinct to appease others in order to avoid conflict or stay safe. Instead of fighting, fleeing, or freezing, you quickly adapt to others’ needs—even at the expense of your own.

In modern life, this might look like saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” over-apologising, or feeling responsible for keeping everyone happy.

What to do if you’re in fawn mode:

Pause before agreeing. Give yourself permission to say, “Let me think about it.”
Check in with yourself. Ask: “What do I actually want or need right now?” If you’re not sure, take the time to reflect.
Practice safe boundaries. Start small—say no to something low-stakes, like declining an extra shift or choosing the café for a catch-up.

Hot Tip: If you struggle with people pleasing, we have more tips on overcoming this here!

The Flop Response: Total Shutdown

Flop is like your body hitting the “off switch.” Sometimes also called the ‘faint’ response, it can happen when stress feels completely overwhelming and you physically or mentally collapse (sometimes literally fainting). Think of it as your nervous system’s last resort to conserve energy and protect you from experiencing harm.

In modern life, flop might show up as feeling suddenly exhausted, dizzy, being physically unable to get out of bed, or experiencing a sense of detachment and helplessness.

What to do if you’re in flop mode:

Rest without guilt. Sometimes your body genuinely needs a break. Give yourself permission to recharge.
Use gentle stimulation. Soft music, warm showers, or stepping into fresh air can gradually bring you back online.
Reach for support. Talking to a trusted person or professional can help you re-engage when self-care feels impossible.

How Trauma Interacts With Stress Responses

While everyone has the potential to experience fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or flop, trauma can make these responses easier to trigger (especially freeze, fawn and flop). The nervous system of someone who has lived through trauma often learns to stay on high alert, even in situations that aren’t truly dangerous.

Because these reactions are automatic, the body can respond to stress as if it’s facing a real threat—long before the conscious mind has a chance to assess what’s happening. A raised voice, a sudden change in tone, or feeling trapped in a conversation might all set off a surge of adrenaline or a sense of shutdown. Which response appears—whether fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or flop—depends on what once helped that person survive.

These trauma-related reactions can make everyday life more difficult, but they’re also reversible. Understanding what’s happening inside your nervous system is the first step toward healing. Over time, and often with support from safe relationships or therapy, it’s possible to retrain the body to recognise safety again and respond with more flexibility.

Bringing It All Together

Fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flop aren’t flaws—they’re ancient survival strategies. The first step is noticing which responses show up most often for you. From there, you can experiment with practical ways of calming your body, expressing your needs, and reconnecting with yourself.

If you notice that these stress responses are happening regularly or making life feel unmanageable, it might be time to seek extra support. We have psychologists who can help you understand your patterns, explore how past experiences may be playing a role, and learn healthier coping strategies for the present. Reach out to chat to our team today!

If you’d like to read more about trauma responses, Bessel Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score is an excellent source of information, or you might want to read more specifically about managing triggers.