Drowning in Anxiety? Practical Tips That Can Help

Updated 22nd of  September

Anxiety can feel all-consuming.

At its most intense, it can feel a little like being caught in the middle of the ocean. One wave hits, and then another. Your heart is racing, your thoughts are spiralling and you’re putting so much energy into trying to stay above water that it can be hard to think about anything else.

When anxiety feels this overwhelming, you might panic at the first sign of it returning. You might feel out of control, try desperately to make the feeling disappear, or worry that something is seriously wrong.

But just as a wave eventually passes, anxiety rises and falls too. And while you can’t always stop the next wave from coming, you can learn ways to help yourself through it.

Next time you’re hit with a wave of anxiety, here are some practical tips you can try.

Slow Down Your Breathing

Anxiety activates our body’s threat response, which can lead to physical sensations such as a racing heart, sweating, muscle tension and changes in our breathing.

If your breathing becomes fast or shallow, this can add to sensations such as dizziness, tingling or feeling short of breath, which can understandably make you feel even more anxious.

Try slowing your breathing down rather than taking very large or deep breaths. Breathe in comfortably through your nose, then breathe out slowly. Continue for a few minutes, allowing your breathing to settle into an even rhythm.

You may not feel completely calm, but slowing your breathing can help settle some of the physical sensations that come with anxiety.

Release Some of the Tension in Your Body

When you’re anxious, you may notice your whole body seems to tense up. You might feel stiff, wound up or as though your body is bracing itself for something to happen, sometimes without even realising it.

Take a moment to notice where you might be holding tension in your body. Try taking a slow breath, and as you breathe out, see if you can let some of that tension go. You might soften the muscles, give the area a small stretch or gently move it around. Do you notice any difference?

For a more structured way of releasing tension, you could try progressive muscle relaxation, which involves deliberately tensing and then releasing different muscle groups.

Letting some of this tension go can help your body begin to settle, even if your anxious thoughts are still hanging around.

Practice Grounding

Anxiety can narrow our attention. We might become absorbed in frightening thoughts, uncomfortable sensations or just be focusing on everything that could happen next.

Grounding is a simple technique that uses your senses to bring your attention back to the present moment and what’s happening around you.

To try it, notice what you can see, hear, feel, smell or taste. You might feel your feet against the floor, notice the chair supporting your body, listen for sounds around you or pay attention to the temperature of the air against your skin. Using your senses in this way can also be a helpful form of self-soothing to help regulate difficult emotions.

You can also choose an ordinary object, a coffee cup, your keys, a tree outside the window, and spend a moment noticing its shape, colour and texture.

Your anxious thoughts may still be there. That’s okay. Grounding isn’t about getting rid of those thoughts; it’s about helping some of your attention come back to the here and now.

Name What You’re Experiencing

When you’re caught up in anxiety, it can be difficult to make sense of everything you’re feeling in the moment.

Sometimes it helps to name what’s happening more simply: I’m feeling anxious right now.

From there, you can notice what’s happening without trying to change it straight away: My chest feels tight. I feel restless. I’m noticing that familiar anxious feeling.

Putting a name to what you’re experiencing can make it feel a little less confusing or overwhelming. You may still feel anxious, but you can recognise: this is anxiety, and this is what it feels like for me right now.

Challenge Your Anxious Thinking

When anxiety is high, our thinking can become more focused on danger or what might go wrong. You might find yourself thinking, I can’t cope with this, something bad is going to happen or this is going to be a disaster.

When you notice a thought like this, try taking a moment to question it rather than automatically accepting it as true.

For example, if you’re thinking I can’t cope with this, ask yourself: Does feeling anxious actually mean I’m not coping?

Think about other times you’ve felt anxious. Perhaps you’ve walked into a social event with butterflies in your stomach, sat through a meeting while feeling nervous, had a difficult conversation despite wanting to avoid it, or gone to an appointment you were worried about.

You may not have felt calm, but you still got through it. Sometimes coping looks like feeling uncomfortable and continuing anyway.

You can try challenging the thought by finding a more balanced way of looking at what’s happening. Instead of I can’t cope with this, you might remind yourself: I’ve felt anxious before and managed.

Pause Before Responding to Anxiety

When anxiety feels uncomfortable, it’s natural to want to do something that makes it go away. You might check something again, ask for reassurance, leave a situation or avoid whatever is making you anxious.

Instead of responding to that urge straight away, try deliberately delaying it for a short time. Allow yourself to sit with the anxiety for a few minutes without immediately trying to change, fix or get rid of it.

You might tell yourself: I’m feeling anxious and this is uncomfortable, but I can wait a few minutes before I respond to it.

You may notice that the feeling changes, the urge becomes less intense, or that you can tolerate the discomfort for longer than you expected. The idea isn’t to ignore something that genuinely needs your attention, but to practise sitting with anxiety before deciding what you need to do next.

Ask for Support

When anxiety feels overwhelming, you don’t always have to manage it by yourself. Reaching out to someone you trust can help you feel supported while you ride out the wave.

You might let someone you trust know you’re feeling anxious. They can help by creating a sense of safety, offering support or helping you seek professional help if you need it.

Sometimes, just having someone alongside you can make an anxious moment feel a little easier to manage.

Learning to Stay Afloat

When anxiety feels like you’re drowning, your instinct may be to fight as hard as you can to make it stop. But constantly battling against every anxious feeling can be exhausting too.

Learning to manage anxiety doesn’t mean making sure another wave never comes. It means having some tools to reach for when it does.

Some waves will be small. Others may knock you around more than you expected. But each time you practise slowing down, noticing what’s happening and trying a different response, you’re learning more about how to navigate anxiety.

You may not be able to control when the waves come, but you can become more confident in your ability to stay afloat.

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If you’re thinking about seeking support for anxiety, you might be wondering what that actually involves. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a first-line treatment for anxiety and can help you develop practical ways to understand and manage your anxiety. If you’d like some support getting started, contact our team to find a psychologist who suits your needs.

If the idea of learning to ride the waves of anxiety resonates with you, The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris explores practical ways to handle difficult thoughts and feelings without becoming caught in the struggle to get rid of them.