What Makes Anxiety Worse: What You Should Know

Updated on the 8th September 2026

It’s Friday night, and I’m tucked up on the couch watching an old favourite movie. After a busy week at work, I’m looking forward to the weekend and catching up with my friend tomorrow.

Then my phone goes off.

“Sorry, I’m not really feeling up to meeting tomorrow. Can we reschedule?”

My heart drops a little. I’m disappointed.

It’s not the first time my friend has cancelled. In fact, it’s been happening more often lately. My friend has let me know that she is currently struggling with anxiety, so I reply to let her know it’s okay and that we can find another time.

What she may not realise is that the very thing helping her feel less anxious tonight could be making her anxiety worse over time.

Anxiety is a normal human emotion, and we all experience it from time to time. But when it becomes persistent or starts getting in the way of everyday life, some of our natural responses to anxiety can unintentionally keep it going.

How Can Anxiety Become a Vicious Cycle?

Let’s go back to my friend.

Perhaps she was already thinking about our plans when the anxious thoughts started: What if I don’t have anything to say? What if I feel anxious while I’m there? Maybe it would be easier if I just stayed home.

As soon as she cancels, the anxiety drops.

That relief matters because her brain learns something from it: I felt anxious, I got out of the situation, and now I feel better.

But by cancelling, she never gets to see what would actually have happened. Perhaps the catch-up would have been easier than she expected, or perhaps she would have felt anxious but discovered she could cope with it.

This is one way anxiety can become a cycle. We feel anxious, do something to reduce that anxiety and feel better temporarily. Because that response worked, we’re more likely to rely on it again the next time anxiety appears. Over time, this can increase our anxiety.

So, what are some of the factors that can make anxiety worse? Many are the things we instinctively do to manage anxiety in fact make it worse. Let’s start with one of the most familiar: Avoidance.

What Fuels Anxiety and Makes it Worse

Avoiding What Makes You Anxious

Avoidance isn’t always as obvious as simply staying away from something that makes us anxious.

Sometimes it looks like putting off a difficult conversation, procrastinating on a task because you’re worried about getting it wrong, letting someone else make a phone call for you or finding reasons not to drive somewhere unfamiliar.

It can also creep in gradually. You might start saying no to more invitations, speaking less in meetings or sticking only to places and situations where you feel comfortable.

The more we avoid, the easier it can become to keep avoiding, and things we once managed may start to feel increasingly difficult.

Having Anxiety about Anxiety

Anxiety can be incredibly uncomfortable. A racing heart, dizziness, shaky hands, feeling short of breath or a sense that you’re losing control can be frightening, particularly if you’ve experienced intense anxiety or a panic attack before.

It makes sense, then, that you might start worrying about those feelings returning.

Imagine you’re on a crowded train when you notice your heart beating a little faster. You remember how overwhelming anxiety has felt in the past and think, What if it gets worse? What if I panic and can’t get off? What if I lose control?

Suddenly, the anxiety itself feels like a threat.

You might start closely monitoring your body for signs that it’s getting worse: Is my heart beating faster? Am I feeling dizzy? Is this the start of a panic attack? The more attention we give these sensations, the more noticeable, and sometimes more frightening, they can become.

Repeatedly Seeking Reassurance

When you’re anxious, it can be difficult to trust your own judgement. You might worry that you’ve missed something important, made the wrong decision or simply can’t rely on yourself to accurately judge the situation.

So, it makes sense that we often look outside ourselves for reassurance:

• Do you think they’re annoyed with me?
• Are you sure I did the right thing?
• Do you think everything will be okay?

There’s nothing wrong with asking for another person’s perspective. The problem is when reassurance becomes something we rely on again and again to settle our anxiety.

Perhaps a friend tells you they’re sure you haven’t offended anyone, and for a while you feel relieved. But later, the uncertainty returns: But what if they’re wrong?

So, you might ask someone else, reread the messages or turn to AI or Google for reassurance. While this can settle anxiety temporarily, relying on reassurance can make it harder to trust your own judgement or tolerate the uncertainty that comes with not knowing for sure.

Getting Stuck in Worry

Worry can easily masquerade as problem-solving. Both involve thinking about something that concerns us, but there’s an important difference.

Problem-solving tends to focus on a specific problem and what we can realistically do about it. Worry, on the other hand, often takes us into a string of hypothetical possibilities, many of which we have little control over.

What if this happens? But then what if that happens? What would I do then?

It can feel productive because we’re mentally preparing for every possible outcome. We might even believe that worrying enough will prevent us from being caught off guard.

The trouble is, anxiety rarely reaches the point where it says, Great, we’ve thought about this enough now.

Instead, one possibility leads to another and another, without ever really getting us anywhere. This kind of worry can take up a huge amount of time and mental energy, leaving us feeling exhausted as well as anxious. And rather than resolving the uncertainty we started with, we can end up with even more things to worry about.

Using Safety Behaviours

Sometimes we don’t avoid a situation altogether. Instead, we find ways to make it feel safer.

You might excessively rehearse what you’ll say, sit near the exit so you can leave or repeatedly check something “just in case”.

These are known as safety behaviours. The tricky part is that when nothing bad happens, we may decide, It was only okay because I did that, rather than learning we might have coped without it.

Everyday Factors That Can Turn Up the Volume

Not everything that makes anxiety worse is part of the cycle we’ve described. Sometimes, everyday factors can simply make anxiety feel more intense.

Poor sleep can leave us feeling more on edge, while caffeine can cause physical sensations such as a racing heart or feeling jittery. Alcohol can affect our sleep and mood, and long periods of stress can leave us feeling more overwhelmed by things we might usually manage.

This doesn’t mean you need a perfect sleep routine (although there are things you can do to support your sleep cycle), give up your morning coffee or eliminate stress from your life. It’s simply worth recognising that when our minds and bodies are already under strain, anxiety can feel that little bit louder.

Why Anxiety is Fuelled by These Patterns

If you recognise yourself in several of these patterns, you’re in good company. They’re common precisely because they make us feel better in the moment.

We avoid because we want relief. We seek reassurance because we want certainty. We worry because we want to be prepared. We use safety behaviours because we want to feel safe. Even becoming anxious about anxiety makes sense when those feelings have been frightening or overwhelming before.

The difficulty is that what feels helpful in the short term isn’t always helpful for anxiety in the long term. When these responses become our go-to way of dealing with anxiety, we have fewer opportunities to learn that the feeling can pass, that uncertainty can be tolerated, or that we may be more capable of coping than anxiety leads us to believe.

That’s what can make the anxiety cycle so difficult to recognise. The things keeping it going often don’t feel unhelpful at all, they can feel sensible, protective and reassuring in the moment.

Understanding that difference can be an important first step. Anxiety will still show up from time to time; after all, it’s part of being human. But recognising what might be feeding it can help us begin to understand why it sometimes sticks around.

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Not sure what to do when anxiety comes up? Practising breathing slow and evenly as well as challenging your thoughts can be a good place to start.  You could also try progressive muscle relaxation, which involves intentionally tensing and relaxing different muscle groups to help your body unwind.

If anxiety is starting to get in the way of everyday life, you don’t have to figure it out on your own, a  psychologist can help! You can reach out to our team today, and we can help match you to one of our warm and caring psychologist’s who treat anxiety.