How to Cope with Chronic Illness and Depression

11.09.26

We all know that exercise, eating well, socialising, and self-care can help protect against depression. But what if the things you’re told to do to feel better actually make you feel worse?

If you live with a chronic health condition and are sick of hearing “just go for a short walk”, I hear you.

For me, it started with chronic fatigue. I was doing all the “right” things: walking every day, doing yoga three times a week, eating well, socialising, and taking care of myself. But instead of making me feel better, they often left me in a fatigue crash. Even basic things like showering and cooking could take more energy than I had.

So I started doing less. I cut my work hours and pulled back from activities I used to enjoy. Eventually, I found myself slipping into depression.

I felt caught between doing right by my physical health and doing right by my mental health. The things that helped my depression could worsen my fatigue, while protecting my energy levels by cutting back could leave me isolated and depressed.

So, when chronic illness and depression start feeding into each other, how do things get better?

What Helps Chronic Health and Depression?

I wish I could provide a list of practical and simple ideas that would immediately improve your health, pain and mood. But the frustrating reality is that different things work for different people, and one thing may help one day and not another. But here are some things that can help you start exploring possibilities and find hope.

1. Notice What Does (and Doesn’t) Work

If something that in theory could make you feel better, like a walk, consistently makes you feel worse, get curious about why. Was it the physical exertion, sunlight, noise, or something else?

When you have the capacity, experiment with what might make it easier. Sunglasses might make being outside more manageable, while changing, reducing or avoiding an activity may be necessary if it consistently worsens your symptoms.

It may take trial and error, but listen to your body. Trusting your limits can help you work with your body, rather than against it.

2. Be Mindful of Thoughts

The reality of your circumstances can be genuinely upsetting and disheartening. And a setback can be extremely distressing. But try to be mindful of definitive statements.

For me, a recurring thought was, “I can’t even go for a walk”. But a slight shift to, “I can’t go for a walk at the moment” better acknowledges the reality of my experience as well as adding a bit more nuance and hope.

It’s also worth keeping an eye out for ‘should’ thoughts, such as, “I should be able to…” or “I shouldn’t have to…”. These thoughts often reflect expectations we held before becoming unwell, or assumptions about what we think we ought to be able to manage.

When your health, energy or capacity has changed, those expectations may no longer fit your current circumstances. Holding yourself to them can add another layer of frustration, guilt or disappointment to an already difficult experience. Instead, it might be helpful to ask “What could I do right now?” or “What would I expect of myself if I were being compassionate?”.

3. Celebrate Wins, No Matter How Small

One walk left me completely worse for wear. So when my psychologist celebrated it, I was confused. To me, it had felt like an epic fail. I was also devastated that my “wins” had become so small when I used to be able to do so much more.

But she helped me see it differently. The walk had taken a huge amount of effort, and I’d done it. More importantly, I had learned something from the experience that could help me understand my limits and make the next attempt more manageable.

4. Find a Sense of Pleasure

Enjoyment is essential for wellbeing, but chronic illness and depression can strip away many of the things we once enjoyed. Try introducing even the smallest of pleasures, like:

A favourite tea or coffee
Petting a beloved pet
Watching a favourite movie from childhood
Lighting a candle
Listening to the rain

If “pleasure” feels like too big a step, perhaps finding something soothing could be a good bridging step.

5. Find a Sense of Achievement

A sense of achievement can also support wellbeing, as it reminds you that even when illness limits some parts of your life, there are still things within your control. Noticing what you can do can help build a sense of agency and hope for what may be possible in the future.

When you’re unwell, achievement might look like:

Eating something, even if it’s not a full meal
Taking a shower
Spending time on a hobby
Getting out of bed, even if you get back in
Replying to just one message

Writing down one goal for the next day can help in two ways: completing something you’ve intentionally set out to do can feel more rewarding, plus you won’t need to think of something when your capacity is low.

But remember, deciding not to do something that day isn’t failure. It’s important to be flexible…

6. Practice Flexibility

Chronic illness often means your capacity can change from one day to the next, so flexibility is important.

This might mean adjusting your expectations, scaling a goal down, postponing it, or deciding that today is not the day. If you planned to go for a walk but wake up feeling worse, choosing to rest isn’t a failure. It’s responding to what your body needs.

Flexibility can also mean thinking creatively about how you meet a goal. If catching up with a friend in person feels too demanding, perhaps you could have a video or phone call instead. If cooking something big feels out of reach, a simple or convenient meal still counts.

Try to hold your plans lightly. Goals can give you direction, but they don’t need to become another standard to judge yourself against. Sometimes progress means adapting the plan rather than pushing through it.

7. Find the Right Support

Support can be especially important when chronic illness has already stretched your physical, emotional or financial resources.

You might consider finding a psychologist who understands chronic illness alongside other relevant experiences, such as neurodivergence or trauma. But accessing support can be difficult when money is tight, especially if illness has meant cutting back on work or stopping altogether. You might wonder whether therapy is worth the cost, but the right support can help you navigate your circumstances and identify other resources available to you.

They can also help you build a broader support network, which may include:

Friends and family
An exercise physiologist or physiotherapist
Support groups
Government support
Other health professionals who may need to be involved in your care

8. Allow Yourself to Grieve

It can feel like you’re living in an alternate reality, grieving the life you once had and the future you imagined. And it can be difficult to grieve something when you don’t know whether it’s gone forever (this is called ambiguous grief, or grieving without closure).

But grief and hope can coexist. You can grieve what you’ve lost while still holding hope for what might be possible in the future.

Remember…

You don’t have to do all of these things. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by these suggestions, I get it! The last thing we need when we’re fatigued or in pain is another list of demands. But if just one sounds helpful, consider starting there. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Progress isn’t linear, either. There will be times when you don’t have the resources to “stay on track”. Living with chronic illness often involves fluctuations and setbacks, and needing to adjust doesn’t undo the progress you’ve made.

For further information and resources, check out Chronic Pain Australia and Emerge Australia. And if you’d like additional support with living with chronic illness, our team of experienced psychologists at Peaceful Mind Psychology are here to help.