Unlock the Power of Habits: A Guide to Lasting Change

Ever wondered why your hand automatically reaches for your phone in the morning, or why it feels so hard to make exercise part of your routine? Habits are those quiet, behind-the-scenes forces that shape much of our daily lives. When left unchecked, they can keep us stuck. But when used intentionally, habits become powerful tools for growth, well-being, and long-term change.

Let’s explore how habits work, what makes them stick, and how you can use this knowledge to create meaningful shifts in your everyday life.

Habits and the Brain: Closing the Loop

Habits are automatic behaviours we repeat with little conscious effort—like pouring your morning coffee or scrolling social media or the news while eating breakfast. Psychologists describe them as “habit loops,” which follow three steps:

• Cue (something triggers the habit, e.g. your alarm going off),
• Routine (the behaviour itself, like making coffee),
• Reward (the pleasant payoff, such as that first sip).

Over time, these loops are stored in the brain’s basal ganglia—the same area that helps us remember skills like riding a bike. Once a behaviour becomes automatic, your brain files it away so you don’t have to think about it.

This is why change can feel hard: the brain is simply following well-worn tracks. But with awareness and consistency, you can gently steer your brain toward new, more helpful pathways.

Breaking Unhelpful Habits

The first step in breaking a habit is noticing it. Keeping a simple journal or using your phone’s notes app to record what triggers certain behaviours can shine a light on patterns you didn’t realise were there.

Instead of going cold turkey, focus on swapping one part of the habit loop. If stress usually leads you to doomscroll, replace the scrolling with something else, like stepping outside for fresh air, stretching, or texting a friend. You’re keeping the cue (stress) and the reward (relief), but reshaping the routine. This makes the change more achievable. 

Accountability helps, too. Share your goals with a trusted friend or family member and celebrate milestones together. Small rewards—whether it’s watching your favourite show or enjoying a treat—help reinforce the new behaviour.

Motivation, Rewards, and Self-Compassion

Our brains love rewards. Every time you reinforce a habit with something enjoyable, you strengthen the habit loop. Rewards don’t need to be huge either – it could be as simple as listening to a favourite song or podcast after going for a walk.

Hot tip; don’t delay the reward (e.g. doing something on the weekend when the task was during the week). Rewards are more effective if given right after or during the task. 

But motivation isn’t only about rewards. Self-compassion plays an equally powerful role. Expect slip-ups, and when they happen, treat yourself with kindness instead of criticism. Each small step forward is still progress.

Visualisation can also help. Picture how life will feel once your new habit is established—whether that’s more energy, calmer mornings, or deeper connections. Creating a vivid mental image can strengthen your motivation to keep going.

Building Healthy Habits That Last

Creating a new habit is much easier when you start small. Want to move more? Begin with a two-minute stretch before bed. Hoping to meditate? Try one mindful breath before your morning coffee. These “micro-habits” are more doable than big changes, and over time they are easier to build upon. 

Consistency is also key. The more often you repeat a behaviour, the more quickly your brain recognises it as part of your routine. Setting reminders, scheduling it into your day, or pairing it to an existing habit (known as habit stacking) can give your new routine a stable foundation. For example, you might aim to do the new behaviour right before or after brushing your teeth at night.

Common Pitfalls and Myths About Habits

When it comes to habits, many people get stuck on unrealistic expectations. A few common ones include:

• “It takes 21 days to form a habit.” Research actually shows it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the complexity of the behaviour and the person’s circumstances. So if your new routine doesn’t stick straight away, you’re not failing – it just takes time for your brain to build those new pathways.
• “Missing a day ruins everything.” Not true. Consistency matters, but flexibility is equally important. Missing a day or two won’t undo your progress. What matters is returning to the habit loop without self-criticism.
• “Willpower is everything.” Willpower can spark a change, but it isn’t sustainable on its own. What really matters is designing your environment and routines to make the helpful choice easier.

By busting these myths, you can free yourself from the pressure of perfection and focus on steady, compassionate progress.

When Habits Meet Mental Health

Habits don’t exist in isolation—they’re influenced by our mood, stress levels, and overall mental health. For example, depression can make it harder to keep up with daily routines, while anxiety can lead to unhelpful coping habits like avoidance. Trauma, too, can shape the habits we develop to feel safe.

Recognising this link can reduce self-blame. Struggling to start or stop a habit doesn’t mean you’re lazy or weak—it often reflects what your mind and body are carrying. This is where psychological support can make a difference: by helping you build habits that feel realistic and compassionate, rather than harsh or punishing.

Your Path to Empowering Habits

Habits are the scaffolding of daily life. When chosen intentionally, they can enhance wellbeing, productivity, and joy. By understanding how habits work, approaching change with curiosity, and supporting yourself with compassion, you can shape routines that truly serve you.

Remember, lasting change doesn’t happen overnight—it begins with one small step. Each choice you make, no matter how small, is a chance to shape the future you want. With patience, curiosity, and self-compassion, you can create habits that nurture your wellbeing and bring more balance and joy into daily life.

 

If you would like to read more about the power of habits, we also have a blog exploring the role of routine in wellbeing, or you could try the well-known book Atomic Habits by James Clear.